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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Nothing can survive a quarter of a million years!

My sister just called and left a message saying, "I've got some exciting news! Well, nothing earth-shattering, but exciting anyway. Call me back!" And now she is not picking up. That is some audacious sheeit right there.

Since I can't get ahold of her and I'll never know what exciting news she had (probably something about whistleblowing and the local utilities company; but I'm not worried!) until she calls me back, let's talk about horror movies!

I love The Thing From Another World:


Also The Thing, John Carpenter-style:

(Kind of an Alien-esque trailer, no?)
I suppose I should be a purist and like one better than the other, but I don't. Keith David! Woo! Kurt Russel! Wilford Brimley, what with this and his creepy enforcer turn in The Firm, is no longer my Friendly Quaker Oats Man.

Look, there was also a BBC radio audio drama version of the original story, Who Goes There? by John Campbell:
Horror Tales link to audio excitement
(aka a bunch of dudes with great accents; reminds me of those great Star Wars radio show days)

What I think this really boils down to my enduring love for creepy Arctic/Antarctic movies and stories. They're kind of like space thrillers: the isolation, the harsh environment, the creepy possibilities of uncharted areas - not just the extraordinary or the alien, but the extreme effect* on the people who venture there. I love it.

So I don't know where the hell I was or what I was smoking, but I totally missed any and all buzz regarding a remake of/prequel for The Thing.

(WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE THE DOGS.)
Note: there are certainly some givens these days for horror/suspense movie trailers.
  • A dude (generally bearded) who says, "MY GOD" with euphonious horror (and secret glee, I bet. It's right up there with "Whaaat have I dooooone?").
  • The slow, suspenseful peek around the corner. (courtesy: A.)
  • The oh-so-emphatic
    Borghhhhhhhhhh
    Borghhhhhhhhhhh
    BORGHhhhhhhhhhhh
    BOOORRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

    music. Thanks a damn bunch, Rise of the Planet of the Damn Dirty Apes trailer. Seriously. I recommend y'all check out The Woman in Black trailer for a lesson in genuine creepiness. (Although that includes some booming and bamming away at the timpani, but not nearly as much.)


Anyway. One of my favorite Season One X-Files eps is, not surprisingly, exceedingly similar to all of the above. The trailer for "Ice" isn't very good, but I still recommend it:


Sheesh. That's a ton of movie links, I think I just overdosed on blood, creeps, heavy snows and subzero temps. However, our thermometer currently reads 96.6, so I'm gonna take all these shivers to the bank.

The blood bank.

DUN DUN DUNDA DUNNN.





*Speaking of Extreme Effects, there's always Lovecraft and At the Mountains of Madness. Woo.

1 comment:

  1. I just read the original John Campbell novella on which The Thing is based. Pretty much identical to the movie, though it doesn't include my favorite line (when the head goes crawling away: "You got to be fucking kidding...")

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