Sometimes pants-crapping is convenient? Whoa!

I'd like some of these, please:

Pants in a Pinch.

In other news, I survived the midterm without needing new pants. Fabulous! Let's hope I can say the same for next week, when we get our grades back.

SWEEEEEET! All right, not really.

Easily Overlooked Lesions Tied to Colon Cancer

An easily overlooked type of abnormality in the colon is the most likely type to turn cancerous, and is more common in this country than previously thought, researchers are reporting.

Money quotes:

"The results also mean it is especially important that patients take the harsh laxatives that many dread in advance of the test."

Of COURSE it is. Damn it!

" 'I think there are people who expect everything in there to be shaped like a golf ball,' [Dr. Douglas K. Rex, a gastroenterologist and professor of medicine at Indiana University] said. 'It’s not.' "

Ha. Hahahahaha.

" 'We tend to get very smug about our abilities.' "

Your ability to wind a scope up someone's ass? HAHAHA! Ahem.

Finally:

" 'The patient really has no way to act as an informed consumer,' Dr. Smith said. 'You can’t call up a facility and say, ‘By the way, is my doctor any good?’ or, ‘Tell me who the best one is.’ ' " (Jesus, how many quotation marks can I put it?)

The main point of that last quote is colonoscopies, and how we can't tell if someone's an talented 'scoper or not. You often hear about the top heart surgeon in the country, right? (Okay, maybe not in real life, or if you're not one of the top wealthiest in the country...)

As I understand it, we sign a waiver before the procedure for a reason. It's possible for an excellent gastro to screw up somehow through accident or chance. But why shouldn't we know how someone is rated, colonoscopy-wise?

That said, a colonoscopy is only one facet of your gastro care. It makes NO sense to see a doctor who A) tells you nothing, B) belittles you or C) can't seem to tell you anything at all about your UC. It's certainly possible that the more I trust someone to look out for my best interests in other facets of my care (medication, mental health, etc.), I might have an easier time under the scope.

I guess what I'm saying is CONSTANT VIGILANCE. Do some basic research, people, and know who's treating you.

(Says the girl who usually feels bad if her office visit goes over ten minutes. Perhaps I'll feel different after my next appointment.)

For the first time for the last time! (repeats mentally, then nods)

This week I will have a midterm, my first since undergraduate, which means my first in five or six years.

On the studying side of things, I have: three to four hundred pages to re-read (I'm currently on page 215, woohoo!), printouts with articles I should have read a few weeks ago, printouts with diagrams of things like the common press and book bindings, and a laptop loaded with notes that will become nonsensical if not reviewed in twenty-four hours.

On the UC side of things, I have: mint tea, water, forced bedtime of 10:45 or die, limited SGA episodes, limited LiveJournaling (and Bloggering, I guess), mint tea, chocolate, and a twenty-percent chance of inevitable colonic explosion on the day of the test, regardless of these safety stress-relieving measures.

Seriously. I can't tell anyone I pack precautionary Imodium A-D for test day!