Recent hilarious Google searches

I love the search engine terms that bring people to my site. They're usually hilarious, whether in the context of the inadequacy of the search, the suspected knowledge of the searcher, or the absolute uselessness of my blog as a helpful result for their query. Some of the highlights:

ulcerative colitis blog
Probably (when they reach my domain) the most disappointed searchers.

smoking and ulcerative colitis
house prescribes cigarettes
smoking causing ulcerative colitis
soup and ulcerative colitis
Without a doubt, the most popular thing I've ever posted was my loose-and-crabby critique of a House ep. I'm a bit sad that the soup search went there, though, since I have posted quite earnestly about soup, making soup, and what soup works best for my UC. Phooey.

y does painkillers work for my colitis
I don't know, dude.

colitis knickers
WHAT IS THIS I DO NOT EVEN KNOW.

Wait a minute. Yes, I do.

can i eat expired yogurt
Heh.

they'll fix you. they fix everything
Hits my old post about Robocop and how sometimes I suspect if I get an colectomy that I too will be transformed into a part-woman, part-machine cop with an awesome gun, mad driving skills, and no home or family except a steel mill and a severely-injured partner, respectively. That's some colitis.

Overall I hope the people who clicked got something helpful out of this blog. But it's doubtful. I guess them's the dangers of writing a hybrid of horrible chronic disease-Star Trek-movies-food-videos-random dorkiness, rather than just a straight colitis-time blog.

In that light, I give you my kind of joy:



May your visits to this blog never get old, nor may they get rebooted/retconned.

It's personal! It's an appeal! Hello? YOU'RE USING MY SITE YOU KNOW.

This from Boing Boing made me laugh, because yes, that's what I feel like when browsing Wikipedia these days, too:

Chrome browser extension "Jimmy Wales-ifies" any web page

I have been seeing other faces on the banner these days, which I suppose is in reaction to the funnymakin'. Now various users have personal messages for me, too! I feel so popular and desired.

There are some disappointed searchers out there

We're all wild about Google search in library class. For one, it's something librarians hear about when patrons have difficulty searching the library catalog: it should search like Google, why doesn't it suggest substitutions for misspelled words like Google does, just what the hell is a Subject Heading search and if it's so important why haven't they had to use it before? Etc, etc.

However, whether it's the fault of Google or the varied topics on my blog or the poor searching skills of users, I can't deny that some people must reach my blog in error. They must be incredibly puzzled.

Some samples:

expired yogurt
"ladies leave" and robocop
"they'll fix you"
(I should be running a Robocop fansite)

"up my nightgown"
(Mmmm Hmmm.)

1 day expired yogurt
bouffant dogs cost
can eat expired one day yoghurt
can you eat expired dairy products
dog face women
(Wha? And I know exactly why they ended up here. Sheesh.)

can you eat expired yogurts?
horseapples work
house prescribes cigarette
hugh laurie smoking cigarettes
living with someone with ulcerative colitis
(HAHAHAHA. That one was A., wasn't it? Poor fellow.)

lurker at the threshold plot summary
read online lurker at the threshold archive
(That person was exceptionally disappointed)

okay to eat expired yogurt
tudors boobs
what can we do from expired yogurt

There were a lot of UC, Crohns, medication and surgery keywords, too. So I guess it evens out. But DAMN. There are a lot of indecisive yogurt eaters in the world, aren't there?